This beautiful 240km stretch of road along southern Australia, from Torquay to Allansford, is a must-do roadtrip for anyone seeking to experience a true taste of Australian coastlines. With so many spectacular sights it would be difficult, and quite frankly rude, to synthesise them down to a neat and tidy list of ‘highlights’ so I will instead take you with me on my rather surreal journey. Sit back and enjoy as you gaze out of the rolled-down window, observing how the scenery gradually changes as you head across the border from South Australia to Victoria. But quickly before we start, I strongly recommend tying your hair back now if you want to step out of the car resembling anything other than an electrocuted poodle. See ya there!

 

So, first I will assume you have made the wise decision to dedicate more than one day to this roadtrip, hopefully with two cosy nights reserved for sleeping in your car. The back seats down, various mismatch duvets and pillows thrown in there and, but more importantly, a set of battery-powered fairylights hung along the roof to ensure only good vibes. Please refrain from excitedly purchasing a set of flashing strobe plug-ins or you will be very disappointed and quite likely mistaken for a UFO. Next, and probably most importantly, the driver. Ideally, recruit a 5’10 (no, the hair does not make them 6ft, especially if it is a mullet) native Aussie with a taste for petrol and salt, and an admirable determination to ensure you experience every Australian “delicacy” en route. Of course, it is up to the passenger to provide the enthralling conversation, quick-witted jokes, and perfectly collated soundtrack for each leg of the journey. Don’t let me down here.

 

Packing list: swimmers, thongs (before you British out there gasp in prudence, this means flip flops), overnight oats for morning 1, binocs, sunnies, Stanley thermos flask, teabags, towel, printed-out itinerary and pen for notes, jumper, shorts, trackies, 3x pants, 2x socks, wash bag, bananas (x5).

 

The first morning you will wake up parked on a beautiful empty beach in Kingston, breathe in the fresh air and embark on a quick dip in the sea to refresh and set you up for day 1! Ignore any protests from your companion; Australians are unable to handle touching any body of water before the peak of summer. Once ready, you will quickly stumble upon one of the most underrated sights of the trip so far (received 10/10 rating from the both of us)…the giant lobster of Kingston! I assure you, it offers the closest viewing you will ever get of a lobster of this magnificent size, albeit a plastic one. Make sure to hop out for a bucket-list photo on self-timer (don’t worry, just the one photo will do- it’s about the lobster not you) before stopping for a coffee, banana, and tasty overnight oats on the seafront.

 

As you set off on your Aussie adventure you will commence on some relentlessly long, straight roads which, depending on time of year, might be lined by spindly, white-washed eucalyptus trees or simply empty barren sun-bleached terrain. Quite clearly, this is a deliberate way for the government to generate some extra pocket money on public holiday weekends through speeding fines. And, in our defence, besides that funny little speed dial on the dashboard, there really is very little way of distinguishing a speed of 100kph from that of 116kph. So, 16kph over the limit, $370 poorer, and 3 demerit points less roadworthy, we became victims of this trap. Should this be you, I suggest choosing to keep your heads high and instead blame the Romans for their long, straight Roads. However, unlike the typical Roman Roads, the B100 begins to transition into a winding coastal trail that hugs the cliff face, carving its own path for the sake of spectacular views over function. As a result, passengers are rewarded with the sight of sweeping ocean waves freckled with surfers to their right, and the dense, green of the Otway Rainforest harbouring populations of koalas on their left. It is now that I politely ask anyone prone to car-sickness to kindly vacate the vehicle and the country in fact, since whether you like it or not, Australia is a nation hinged upon roads and cars. Please and thank you xoxo.

 

Let’s continue. You make your way to Mount Gambier, passing by Robe and Beachport, two towns that must be put in the back pocket for another time. Mount Gambier is the beating heart of the Limestone Coast and home to the iconic bright, and creatively named, Blue lake (or Warwar) within an extinct volcanic crater. Here, try your very best to “enjoy” the first of your Australian delights; a butter-chicken pie. For some reason, on this continent almost anything can be improved by wrapping it inside pastry. Even the poor ‘curry’ cannot get away with simply being served with rice, pie takes precedence. Anyway, haven taken in hopefully more of the view and less of the pie (leave that for your pie-loving companion), continue onwards until you reach the border with Victoria. Word of warning- rapidly consume or hide ALL (5) bananas before reaching the border- this would be an embarrassing way to end our roadtrip…  

 

Having escaped your second crime of the journey you meet Cape Bridgewater, where the most brutal side of the southern Australian coast comes out. Harsh, jagged rocks and frothy swelling waves crash together with a roar and towering splash, branding this area as the ‘Blowholes’. Its neighbouring ‘Petrified Forest’ only adds to this aggressive landscape with hollow limestone tubes projecting upwards, eroded by millions of years of rain. Locals prefer to ignite fear in tourists by describing them instead as an ancient forest of coastal trees that were smothered in sand, petrifying them forever more. The wind tears across this rugged land and a combination of salt and sand will sweep across your face until you are forced to seek shelter back in the car. Queue song “Shelter from the storm” Bob Dylan.

 

Continuing towards the Logan Beach Watching Platform, Bay of Islands and Martyrs, and London Bridge (yes, this one has also fallen down), you truly begin to see the wonders of the Great Ocean Road. You excitedly rummage around to use your binocs for the first (ever, let’s be honest) time and intensely focus on spotting a whale until the spot behind your eyes begins to ache. You pass them on to your companion whilst convincing yourself that that particularly crested wave was surely a Southern Right Whale. Or, if you go between June and September when females seek sheltered bays to nurse their calves, the sight of an actual whale is enough. The Bay of Islands and Bay of Martyrs offer 180-degree stunning views of green outcrops of headland with red-orange rock stacks facing them head on with vengeance. Walking along the coastal trail, you enjoy the serenity and multitude of different colours bouncing around you, and in our case, revel at the ethereal feel the misty haze brings to the scene. You will be able to identify London Bridge nestled among these by two rocks that were once connected and now only re-joined in an illusion made possible in photos by posing tourists bridging the gap with their hand. Spend some time here appreciating this amusing view, trying your hardest not to laugh at the concentration dedicated to accurate hand placement, and if you are not too proud yourself, give it a go! Challenge accepted.

 

By this point, what little you had of the butter-chicken pie has long digested and you will be getting rather hungry; not to worry, fresh fish and chips are just 7.5km away in Port Campbell! A sweet little colourful town comfortably sat within Norfolk pines and sheltered cliffs; it is a favourite stop-off for many. Make sure to reverse-park in the front-most parking spot to Port Campbell Bay so that the boot opens with views of the sea. If you can, pick-up your fresh fish and chips from the Waves Café Bar and Restaurant, or ‘Frying Nemo Fish & Chips’ if you want the real local (cheap) stuff. Excitedly run back to the car and nestle in the comfy duvet at the back of the car, watching the deep orange sun set behind the gentle velvet sea of Port Campbell Bay. Your companion will likely beg you to try the Dim Sim (NOT to be confused with a nice, steamed dumpling) and potato cake (worse hashbrown), compliments of the chef. You will showcase a look of sincere open-mindedness as you slowly chew before saying “not bad”, selflessly setting the rest aside for them. Such a giver you are.

 

You may have noticed we completely passed by the Twelve Apostles, pretty random of us I know! But, this was not one of those mistakes teachers claim to be hidden “tests” of attentiveness but instead a deliberate plan to enable a sunrise visit to this staggering viewpoint. Drive back the 11 minutes and park in the small car park by Gibson steps. Rest up for the night before a 5:41am wake-up (check sunrise for your specific time of year), sleepily put on layers and make your way to the Twelve Apostles for sunrise! Make sure to leave 30 mins to get ready and walk to the viewpoints ahead of sunrise itself. Lucky enough to be the only ones there (remarkable for such a tourist hotspot), take in the 8 sleeping piglets lost in the ocean, floating away from their mother that is mainland. Previously called the Sow and Piglets (up until 1922), a name I much prefer to Twelve Apostles partly because there are only 8 rocks, but mostly because it’s just way cuter. The sun will slice up through these rock formations, glaring at you with its piercing amber eyes as you sip on Stanley thermos hot water (still hot from 2 nights ago!!), taking in the view. Stroll along the boardwalk, rating the different lookout points and posing for some pictures before descending Gibson steps to Gibson Beach. Here quietly rests a pristine long beach with deep orange sand that offers views up at the little piglets. You suddenly feel very small, a stark reminder of how mother nature will always reign supreme, standing tall and beautiful as us humans defiantly potter around beneath. Watch the seagulls glide around you, dancing and darting between the sun’s warm rays as the sea splashes up at them playfully.

 

Return to the car and drive just over an hour to the Maits Rainforest whilst munching on some homemade trail mix. Here you are entering the Great Otway National Park, one of my favourite parts of the Great Ocean Roads. Take in the giant Myrtle Beach trees towering triumphantly in the heavy humid air as you stroll the Maits Rest Rainforest walk. Climb through the huge hollow tree trunks and admire the vibrant green leaves above basking in the sun’s glow. You are guided back to you ride by the ancient ferns and furry mosses that pepper the snaking pathway. Cruise out along the main road that re-joins the coastline, open the sunroof and queue ‘Here Comes the Sun’ Beatles (no Colbie Caillat please) with volume on full. Stick your head out the roof. Smile and breath. This stretch of road between Cape Otway and Torquay is the most characteristically ‘Great Ocean Road’ people rave about. Enjoy the drive, stopping off at Apollo Bay for brunch and a stroll along its picture-perfect beach, take part in the Kennet River Koala Walk, and stop off at Teddy’s Lookout just above Lorne for an impressive view of the coast and winding Great Ocean Road from above. I recommend taking a time-lapse for longer than 2 seconds (regrets) and allowing yourself to giggle at how all the surfers and walkers look like tiny little ants. N.B. also a good moment to impress your fellow spectators with your nifty binocs, maybe even pretending to see a whole pod of orcas in the distance whilst pointing in fake excitement. Shame they didn’t think to bring a pair of their own…

 

Nearing the end of the trip, take the small detour to Erskine Falls. A 30m high waterfall with luscious rainforest vegetation below and slippery steps that lead you right up close to its base. Consider the contrast between here and the coast just nearby and how remarkable it is to have two such distinct microbiomes so close to one another. Finally, pay a little visit to Angelsea, pausing quickly at the Memorial Arch at Eastern View to get a picture with the infamous Great Ocean Road archway, built as a commemoration to the returned WWI soldiers that built the very road you have just travelled along. Challenge: how may selfies you can photo bomb without them noticing!?

 

Angelsea is a quaint surf town with little to see besides (yet another) perfect beach and bakery selling custard tarts. Sadly, not the delicious Pastel de Nata but instead the final Aussie traditional dish of your trip. Try your best not to let the disappointment show on your face; the 16,141km separating yourself from Portugal perfectly envelops Sainsbury’s “Taste the difference” slogan, and not for the better.

 

Moving swiftly onwards, queue ‘Down South’ Jeremy Loops for the final leg of your drive; a daily essential to raise the spirits and dissipate the taste of custard before arriving at Torquay. This is where the Great Ocean Road ends and I leave you to decide your next course of action, whether that be heading straight to Melbourne for your dose of city chaos or a quick visit to the Great Ocean Road Chocolaterie for some freebies. The star of the show, surely!?

 

Hope you had a good ride and see ya soon for our next adventure!

xx